Founding Frustrations

Its hard to sit across the room from you. Its hard to smile and not scream. Its hard to accept you as a mentor, a peer, a fellow. Its hard to give you my hand without crushing bone. Its hard to stand alone the hallway watering the tile. Its hard to see your kindness and your compassion but know its not reserved for me. Its hard to see that spine tighten, see that pull up into defense. Its hard to sit across the room and keep my mouth shut. Keep my hands still. Keep my eyes and ears dull to the sensations that arouse the blood in my veins. Its hard not to look down, to envy the ground upon which we walk. Its hard to hate you. Not to pull hair and gnash teeth. Its hard not to rush up, clench bones and throw. Its hard to see the humanity, to accept the humanity. To permit, to submit, to shrink, to shrivel, to scream.

I bleed the same, breathe the same, cry the same but you look right through me.

Why do you make it so hard.

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